Ad for Beer

Rainbow Hotel gigs for me were none
Chick, the owner, was so sincere
“I love your music, it’s clever and fun, but it’s not a good ad for beer”
“Thanks a lot, Chick”, I declared with glee, “Your phraseology makes it clear
There must be apter venues for me
I don’t wanna be an ad for beer”

Pat a dog, smell a flower, ride a bike
Try eating brussels sprouts and the like
Have a sing, be nerdy, sail a boat
They’re the things I prefer promoting
Now I play schools, halls and festivals
Bring the family, have no fear
See and hear clearly and, best of all
I don’t need to be an ad for beer

Pat a flower, ride a dog, smell a bike ...

I don’t mean to be a pious git
You do what you like, I’ll be here
Playing my music in places where it doesn’t need to be an ad for beer ...

İMal Webb 2008

This is a true story. Chick Ratten, who ran the Rainbow Hotel in Fitzroy, once said to me "yeah, I've been playing your demo in my car... I love it, but I can't give you a gig... your music's not a good ad for beer". I'm told he used the phrase quite often. Sadly, Chick died 8/8/2008 at about the time I was finishing the song (I had no idea he was unwell). There's a nice article about Chick from the AGE at:
For some time now I've been determined for my music not to be an ad for beer. Ironically, I did help Cezary Skubiszewski do the VB stubbie symphony ad, although I was pushing him to have the bassline done on Darwin stubbies (giant ones), doing farty lip buzz across the top (jug band style)... he wasn't into it and used tympani instead... the fool!

See and hear it on