When I took off my trainer wheels
I hit the road and skinned my knee
And stubbed my toe as I stood up
And banged my head upon a tree
My brother asked "Are you OK?"
So many times it drove me nuts
Deaf, dumb and blind in agony
I had to punch him in the guts

I'm a baby in a pram
Playing chicken with a tram

Back seat of the brown EH
Heading homeward late at night
The streetlights stroke me half asleep
And everything will be alright
'Cos mum and dad are in the front
Their murmurs ripple over me
And no divorce could strip away
This blanket of security

I should've left my trainer wheels on
Another day would've done
If I'd thought to think it through
And high up on my tin can stilts
Adult stamped upon my brow
With an O instead of U

When I took off my trainer wheels
Dad gave them to the kid next door
"They'll just clutter up the shed
And we don't need them anymore"
So now I ride a bike with ease
Around the block I'm free to roam
Down any path, up any street
Except the one that heads for home

©Mal Webb 2000

The irony of this song is that Dad never let us have trainer wheels! Though we did have a brown EH Holden, which we eventually sold to buy a Leyland P76 (great car!) For me, it's more about growing up and never really being able to go home again: Being lumbered with the label adult when you just feel like a dolt. This song was majorly inspired by some very poignant Charlie Brown cartoons. "Hold my hand, Chuck!"