Malsite
Bio
Photos
Bands
Gigs
Songs
Cds
Contact
Home
Mal's Random Thoughts and Inventions

There're 12 decimal places between a microphone and a megaphone.

When the left moves right, what rights do we have left?

Breakfast Brunch Lunch Linner Dinner Dupper Supper Sekfast
And a very late breakfast would be Brinner, which, at Christmas time, would be boiled eggs, as it would be Yule Brinner.

"The other implements for making alcohol were moving around, so the mouse had hidden under one that wasn't. But why hadn't he run away? 
What it was was that that that that still still still still had had had had an intoxifying effect on the mouse".
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=434805726600131&id=190844574329582

Here's a little grammar lesson I came up with:
"And it quickly ran over the grassy hill." "Because I really am in a foul mood." "But he always worked through any tricky problem."
These sentences each contain 8 different kinds of word, in this order:
1. Conjunction: Links between actions or ideas.
2. Pronoun: Represents a noun in a general way.
3. Adverb: Describes a verb, an adjective or another adverb (sheesh!)
4. Verb: A doing or being word.
5. Preposition: Describes where the subject is in relation to the object.
6. Determiner (or Article): Defines the noun.
7. Adjective: Describes a noun.
8. Noun: Represents a thing or concept.
Can you make one?

Well, Nick (nicknamed "knickers") has this nickel knick-knack that's in good nick, apart from a few nicks, so nick down and nick it in the nick of time, so you don't get nicked.

"She smiled livelily and lovelily, but lonelily". When using an "ly" adjective as an adverb, one is meant to use an adverbial phrase (i.e. "in a lovely manner") or find a non "ly" alternative (like "sweetly"), but I love these "lily" words (as I call them). I sometimes even write them like "lyly", as in "wobblyly". "Scholarlily" is my favourite.

I'dn't've is 6 letters and 3 apostrophes. It's something that people often say but never write, along with simpler multi-apostrophe words like mustn't've, I'd've and the lovely looking I'll've.

The phrase "he's tall, isn't he?" can be said two very different ways with one being an actually question. So, to distinguish the rhetorical question, I write it as "he's tall, isn't he!" And then all is clear. I've seen others do this and I do hope it catches on.

A while ago, my stepfather Alan referred to something as a bit of a faux pas and almost without thinking, I said, "You're a Faux Pa!" Hardy ha! But then my cousin Alison Reid pointed out that "pas" means "step" which makes it doubly apt! Well, except that he's my real step, not a false one. Hmmm. It's caught on a bit now amongst my friends. Faux bro also has a nice ring about it, but Faux Sis sounds like a disease. And Faux Mo Fo... nah.

The words Well, Fine, Fast, Right, Wrong, Left, Long, Okay, Light, Still and Shit can each be a noun, a verb, an adjective and an adverb.

I just noticed that "undoable" can mean both "can be undone" and "can't be done". Any others like that?

I just found out that § isn't just a pregnant S, it's called a Section Sign. Gosh. It's option 6 on a mac. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_sign

Invention!!! The Bubble Kick: Standing in waist deep water, raise one of your feet (just one) out of the water behind you, then thrust it down into the water and kick it forward to produce a shot of bubbles! Use it provide a spontaneous jacuzzi effect or to simulate flatulence... or both!

Here're some homophonic words and phrases I use in general conversation to keep myself amused:
I'll leave you twit (to it). Torture you later (talk to you later). Nice dementure (nice to meet you). Dugong (do go on), Abysinnia or I'll be senior (I'll be seeing you), Excrement (excellent), Obsoletely (absolutely), Eliminating (Illuminating), Whithered (With it)

"Nonomatopoeia". Words that mean nice things but sound yucky: Crepuscular, Puce, Pulchritude, Glabrous, Osculate, Phlegmatic, Fuscus, Vindicate, Bucolic, Incursion, Succour

My visualisation of time is quite similar to that numbers for me. Each is a 2D plane that I float over with a line running up it / across it (depending on my position above/beside it). For numbers, the line goes 0-100, then diagonally left, off to clouds of infinity in a roughly logarithmic scale. From 0, it goes diagonally to negative infinity, but also two other lines, running to infinitely small (fractions and decimals). Other scales, like temperature, music, pressure, voltage, etc. all sit in lines next to the main line, in different colours. Around all that is complex numbers and above and below are Riemann surfaces and Julia sets, etc. You can tell the order in which I learnt things!
My time goes in columns (decorated with images of events) up to the year 2000 (decorated with images of events), then diagonally left to the future (which has gone a bit funny since getting onto the diagonal!) From year 0 into BC, it's all drawn on a map of the middle east and Europe, with the big bang off to the left in the infinity clouds. Parallel universes sit above and below transparently.
When I became aware of it (both with numbers and time), I started obsessively asking my friends what they saw, which was rather enlightening, but also a little disappointing, as no one else seemed to have diagonal bits... until I asked my Mum, and she said her numbers go up to 37, then diagonally to... hurrah!