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Eunice
(See our first recorded performance of it: https://youtu.be/q_STY0JB9eI?t=1497 )

Eunice, you were tired of always being second person
They'd compare thee to a female sheep, flock following with thoughts undeep
And likewise to a toxic tree, roots tangled in antiquity
Treated as an object, but also as a subject
You said, "I object! Sure, I could change my name, I guess
To that archaic familiar second person pronoun
i.e. Theeness, Thouness or even Thyness
But I'll never get to be first person unless I change my name to Inez*!
Such ocular Scottish positivity, the imaginary uni(t)s, a la Bombelli
But the royal 'ighness, that regal "we", may be seen, er, objectively
As implying a monarchly me-ness, that's not in my demeanor
You won't find us, I mean, me, addressing people down my sinus
I'm more a people person, so, perhaps third person is the go"
Thus, Eunice thought to change her name to Theyness
But for her it engendered a certain not-OK-ness
Being non non-binary in her identity
She thought, in the name of unity and oneness with all those who are
She'd leave, to them, the "they" that's singular
Well, how about a neutral name like Chris or Sam or Lee?
  Next to "Eunice", she just couldn't bear to wear such commonality
So she considered other traits like Eagerness or Newness, Keeness or Trueness
Or maybe less is best, like just.... Ness!
Not that a moniker from a quality's a necessity
How about Serenity? Or Felicity? She's too bright to be a Dimity.
All those women's names with hidden woes, like Cindy, Kirsty or Mildred
She wasn't into those, whence instead
She said, "offensive name-calling is appalling
Then and now it's too two tense"
So hence, in the present, we see Eunice
Still dwelling on the worth of the name she got at birth
You got it second hand from your gran'ma, so they say
And it's nice in a European Union kind of way

*pronounced to rhyme with eye-ness

  Mal Webb 2020

Lots of grammar jokes in this one, changing tense, flipping between 1st, 2nd and 3rd person and homophonic word play (which makes it a little tricky to write out, as even the title implies about 4 homophones... You, Ewe, Yew and EU!)
But at its core it's a song about identity. The internal dialogue and the pressure of society and family. So many of the word plays landed at my feet, like EUnice, as the European Union is a never-ending negotiation.
If you're having trouble making it scan, that's the point! I wanted it to wander like a mind-map. Whenever it almost settles on a rhyming scheme or a rhythm, it drifts sideways.
And it's sung over a 9 against 13 Blurred PolyPolyRhythm, of course! (That's dividing the 13 into 6 + 3 + 4, putting 4 against the 6, 2 against the 3 and 3 against the 4... hence 4 + 2 + 3 = 9 ... if you blur it! It's the subtle shift from dotted quaver to triplet that makes 7 against 5 sound nice!)
It starts in a straight 13, then puts a 9 disco over a two bar cycle. Then for a only a few bars it goes into a 9 waltz before making it an 18 grouped in 3s (shuffle) with the one of the groove displaced 3 beats (subdivisions)*** later... such fun! This section has a nod to Joe Jackson's "Stepping Out" in the bassline. It then displaces back to the 9 disco before doing the straight 13 to the end (except for the 4 bars where all the above grooves are stacked on eachother).
And just in case you don't know, Rafael Bombelli was who conceived the imaginary unit i, the √-1 back in the 1500's.

How the chords work: All the chord have C and E in them and the top of the slash is the extra note in the chord and the bottom of the slash is the bass note, hence Ab/F# is E, C and Ab with an F# bass, which makes an F#9(#11) chord. Fun eh! The top note of the slash is a loop of 7, whereas the bass notes are mostly a loop of 8, hence the chords don't repeat much. And the top note finally gets to resolve to E and the end!

B/C Bb/C A/C Ab/B G/Bb F#/A
F/Ab Eunice, you were tired of always B/G being second person. They'd
Bb/F# compare thee to a female sheep, flock A/F following with thoughts undeep. And
Ab/E likewise to toxic tree, roots G/D tangled in antiquity
F#/Bb Treated as an object, but F/A also as a subject. You said,
 B/Ab “I object! Sure, I could  Bb/G change my name, I guess, to that
A/F# archaic familiar 2nd person Ab/F pronoun i.e. Theeness
G/E Thouness or even Thyness. But I'll
F#/D never get to be first person F/Bb unless I change my name to
B/A Inez*! Such ocular Bb/Ab Scottish positivity, the
A/G imaginary uni(t)s, a la Bom- Ab/F# -belli. But the
G/F royal 'ighness, that regal "we", may be F#/E seen, er, objectively, As
F/D implying a monarchly me-ness, that's B/C not in my demeaner. You won't
Bb/C find us, I mean, me, addressing A/C people down my sinus. I'm more a
Ab/Bb people person, so, perhaps 3rd G/A person is the go." Thus,
F#/Ab Eunice thought to change her name to F/G Theyness. But for
B/F# her it engendered a Bb/F certain not-OK-ness. Being
A/E non non-binary in her Ab/D identity. She thought, in the
G/Bb name of unity and oneness with F#/A all those who are, she'd
F/Ab leave, to them, the "they" that's B/G singular. Well,
Bb/F# how about a neutral name like A/F Chris or Sam or Lee? After
Ab/E "Eunice", she just couldn't bear to G/D wear such commonality. So
F#/Bb she considered other traits like F/A Eagerness or Newness
B/Ab Keeness or Trueness. Or maybe Bb/G less is best, like just
A/F# ...Ness! Not that a Ab/F moniker from a quality's a
G/E necessity How about F#/D Serenity? Or Felicity? She's too
F/Bb bright to be a Dimity. All those B/A woman's names with hidden woes, like
Bb/Ab Cindy, Kirsty or Mildred. She A/G wasn't into those, whence
Ab/F# instead. She said, "offensive G/F name-calling is appalling.
F#/E Then and now it's too two F/D tense". So
B/C hence in the present, we see Bb/C Eunice. Still
A/C dwelling on the worth of the Ab/Bb name she got at birth. You
G/A got it second hand from your F#/D gran'ma, so they say. And it's
F/G nice in a European B/F Union kind of way
Bb/E A/D Ab/Db G/C F#/C F/C E/C