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Fool

I've been a fool, fully, yeah, I've been a fool
I've been hurtful, hateful, harmful, ungrateful, unfaithful and disgraceful
I've been boastful, resentful, so woefully vengeful and wasteful, quite distasteful
Awful, unlawful, frightful and spiteful, distainfully painfully shameful, you name it, I've been a fool

I've been a fool, fully, no no, I insist
I've been sexist, racist, elitist, ageist and looksist... that's my ist list
I've been careless, thoughtless, feckless, gormless and listless... that's my less list
I've been mean, and I don't mean average, I mean mean to mean unkind and stingey
I've also been whiney and whingey
Intolerant, indolent, arrogant, ignorant
Derisive and divisive, paranoid patronizing
  With my yearning insecurities burning like a fuel.... I've been a fool 

And when I was shown it, I didn't own it
When it became apparent, I became abhorrent
When confronted with being nasty, I got a bit arsey
Making lame excuses, laying blame, saying "I was only just joking", playing that game
Off handly branding it a misunderstanding
Failing to learn when taken to school
Proud as a peacock, stubborn as a mule
... yep, I've been a fool

I've been a fool, fully, but no, nothing huge
This ain't a major mea culpa, penitent prelude to a guilt gushing deluge
It's acknowledging the hundred one percenters one let's slip by
 Commited then omitted, in the blink of an eye
  And while it might've been mild and subtle, that's no rebuttal
Even imperceptable is unacceptable
Every thought, comment and action adds up and gains traction til it's intractable
Like a butterfly wing fanning the flames of misery and injustice
Not just me or just us
It makes us mistrust us thus we can't adjust us
  So we get all sus and disgusted.
If it's not discussed, it'll bust us
But flustered and fussed about stuff ups just won't cut the mustard
Honesty without empathy is just kind of cruel, as a rule...yeah, I've been a fool

I've been a fool, I admit it, I've been a twit
And when I say "sorry", don't worry, it's not just perfunctory
These mistakes won't become retakes
It's not just a pathetic apologetic asthetic
It isn't contrition on the condition that there'll be repetition
It's no dodgy, low quality apology followed by further failure and folly, golly gee
The wise apologize and try not to reprise.
Having happy devotion to emotional gain
At great pains, training so the same won't happen again
In the fullness of time, this fool's gunna climb, and be
Hopeful, heedful, helpful and cheerful, delightful, insightful, respectful and peaceful
Merciful, thoughtful, thankful and playful, grateful, graceful, tactful and tasteful
Artful and skilful, joyful and blissful, wonderful, beautful, soulful and songful
And strong, fully... sing out "I was wrongful", 'twas uncool.

2020
Dedicated to those who have a little way to go in owning their stuff ups, big and small, and saying sorry effectively.

And here's our first ever performance of it!