You're grouse, and I'm buggered if I know what else to say
Like je taime, ti amo or yag elska dei
But the language may be getting in the way
You're grouse and I hold you in the highest of esteem
You're the best a female friend has ever been 
But I think I've got a little bit too keen

And you say you wish more boys could be like me
But how can you fail to see, I'm waiting here patiently

You're grouse, but it's hardly like we are the perfect match
'Cos on you the other girls are not a patch
And in life I seem to fumble every catch
You're grouse, and I've never been a winner with the words
I'm a total loss at matrices and surd
So I don't even fit in with other nerds

You're grouse, but the truth is too impossible to face 
That the footy players are really more your pace
So my love is a completely hopeless case
You're grouse! It's the only thing I have the guts to say
'Cos my feeling may cause you to run away
Even worse you may just pity me and stay

You're grouse

©Mal Webb 2000

The girl for whom this song is written did eventually go out with several nerdy non footy player types, but never me....tragic! Petrarchian really.
When I played this song to my Gran, she said "That's pathetic". When I looked hurt, she said "No, I mean truly pathetic, you know, like "inspiring of pathos"". Nice recovery, Gran.
For the unenlightened, Grouse means "Very³⁸⁷ good". Due to its use in a '69 documentary on Sydney bikey gangs ("Our blokes treat us real grouse"), I suspect the word originated in Sydney, travelled to Melbourne and on arrival and adoption there, was thoroughly rejected by the Sydneysiders (in the same manner "Panache" was dropped by the French once the English started using it). Modern day Sydneysiders tend to reject this hypothesis. Other words such as nifti, spiffing, growly, bulk, ace, dandy, fab or wizard (a favourite of my Dad's) may be alternatively inserted if they are more applicable to your torrid gormless crush-ridden high school years.